Thursday, March 12, 2009 @4:17 PM
Whipping the BitchMmmmm... I'm pissed off is a good way to start. I'm fed up, I'm just sick of her and her shit. I see her every day and she pretends I'm not there. I see her when I fall asleep, I dream about her, and I think about her all day long. I try my best to ignore her--it makes things easier. I try to just pretend I am invisible and she can't see me (even though she doesn't look at me to begin with) because then it all makes sense to me: She doesn't look at me, talk to me, or acknowledge me because
I'm not really there. Simple, right?
But... when I came to school to find her leaning against my locker snuggling right up to my boyfriend... Oh, that's too much. She's gone too far (and this is not the first time, I've also caught glimpses of her scooting her chair very close to his during their DTP class fifth hour when I go to the English room). You wouldn't understand much it enrages me. And he doesn't even care, he doesn't move away from her, he stays right where he is and engages her in conversation (like she
deserves to have him in her life).
He gets "relationship advice" from her and shares his advice with her. Why is it that he never tells me this? Is he afraid of me knowing? Is it that he doesn't think I should know that he's better friends with her now than I am? Great, my
boyfriend is now taking my friends. What a wonderful guy. Oh, but that's all okay because "he hates her." If he hates her so much then why is he always trying to be her buddy? I fucking hate her. I wish she'd just die so then everyone could assume I'm just unhappy because she's dead instead of being unhappy because she
isn't.
And the rest of them--the people that shove me around day after day. I pretended I was happy today (well, I was a little bit: my adv. gen. art panel is really coming together and people are telling me that they like it--it makes me a little bit happier inside) but, god, I daydream about slamming her face through a window.
(I'm serious. Don't question my seriousness.)