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Thursday, July 16, 2009 @1:47 AM

Almost Easy
I feel like the boy had so much potential.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 @4:08 PM

I just got home from my third 4-H trip. This one went to Washington, D.C. I met a ton of people there, and spent most of my time hanging out with a few guys and girls, mainly the guys. I got to know three of the guys pretty well, but one I got so close to, it's dangerous.

I talked to Kevin for the first time at the National Zoo on Sunday afternoon. He called Kelsey "David" because she was being annoying. I noted that his name was Kevin, that he looked like Dev a lot, and that he had a great sense of humor. We didn't spend a lot of time together again until Wednesday or Thursday, when we ended up sitting next to each other on the bus. We had an odd conversation, and I shared my food with him.

On Thursday night, when my state's delegation went to the Kennedy Center to see Shear Madness, Kenny and I sat next to each other at dinner. He shared his black forest pie with me (it was delicious) and the laughter never seemed to stop. During the play, we sat together again. Tommy sat on the other side of me. Somewhere during the first act of the play--before all the characters had even been introduced--my heart was beating loudly in my chest and Kenny was holding my hand. It felt so amazing.

We couldn't sit together on the bus. I asked him for his chapstick. When he handed it to me, he held onto my hand a second longer than would be necessary. I was so excited because someone liked me, some guy liked me, and I hadn't had something like this in over two years.

The next day, he avoided me. He didn't talk to me. I txted him over and over saying things like "Where are you? Can we meet up?" and "Diga me. Por favor." Finally, during the dance, I stepped out and txted him again, asking him why he was avoiding me. He said we should just be friends.

I really did just want to be friends with him after that. I thought that would be fine. But still, he avoided me for the rest of the trip. He didn't text me back, and he wouldn't talk to me unless he couldn't avoid it. He hugged me when he got off the bus at Milkwaukee. He hugged me three times, but didn't really say much. I couldn't tell if he was looking at me in the eyes, or just in my direction. That was the last time I talked to Kenny. I'll probably never talk to him again.

& PROFILE

STIX
.mate.feed.kill.repeat.
18 December 1992.
i do not capitalize when i write poetry.

& LOVES

Family.
Friends.
Mitch.
Boys.
Pretty girls.
A drug-free world.
Kisses on the forehead.
Slipknot, Metallica, & Mozart.
Hugs.
Touch&beTouched.
Love&beLoved.

& SPEAK
shh, i'm always here for you.

& ARCHIVES

February 2009
March 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
July 2010
November 2010


& RESOURCES

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