Friday, November 27, 2009 @12:45 AM
DEVON
I just know there's something fucked up between them. There's something way-more-than-friendish about them.
People tell me about how they hold hands in class, and then say they're not "together." Really Devon? You called me a whore when I told people Mitch and I were undefined when he held my hand in school for the first time. Who's the whore now?
Oh.
Still me.
But I digress.
I know there's something between them. Maybe it's the way they fucking stare at each other all the time, share their food across the table at lunch, and call each other stupid little pet names (that oh-by-the-way came from
me first... Dev & Pockets... my two very bestest... the two people I would do anything to get the fuck out of my life). No, "Dev," it's not totally obvious that what you do behind closed doors is sexual, even though you try to deny that every time you bring her up.
I'm not stupid.
I know her. I know what she's like, and I know what
you're like, especially when it comes to girls like [me]. Yep, she's like me Devon--and you know what that means? That means she's a whore, too.
That kind of backfired on you, now, didn't it?
Remember when we started dating, "Dev," two years ago, and I told you I felt like a whore for doing some of those things with you? You tried to comfort me, and tell me that there was nothing to worry about, but in the end I still felt like shit about it. I never stopped feeling shitty about our relationship, the sexual aspects of it, and the way that you always seemed to stop caring about me and my feelings when we started getting dirty.
Honestly Devon. I tried to tell you these things. You didn't listen.
What the hell is the point, really? He's not reading this. He's blocked my fictionpress updates, anyway.
Fuck him. Fuck her. Fuck my life.
My relationship with Mitch? Totally awkward. I don't know how I'm going to deal with him when he comes home. I don't know how I'm going to deal with myself when he gets home tomorrow night from hunting up north.
Oh, and she still reads my updates. She never comments, reviews, or even tells me that she reads them, but she does. So you know, all those little subliminal (and not so subtle) messages I've been leaving for her, literally begging her to speak to me, were all a waste. She's been ignoring them all along.