mate.feed.kill.reapeat

I haven't been here in a while...

2010-11-27T15:52:00.002-06:00

...but the poll on my FP page had like 98% that said this blog would be useful. Hmm. Does anyone even come here, I wonder?

& we call this an update

2010-07-18T16:32:00.002-05:00

Hi.

Sorry, I haven't updated here for quite a while. I've been writing again, but not really receiving reviews. So I guess I haven't really seen the point in updating this. But I guess... whatever.

Maybe someone reads this shit. Maybe someone actually reads my poetry.

The important points of my life that you need to know:
1. I found a guy.
2. His name is Joe.
3. I like him too much.
4. I write poetry about him now.
5. I'm afraid of him seeing my poetry about him.
6. I like the beach a lot.
7. & that's where I'm going now.

-stix-

You Smell So Good

2010-04-14T22:07:00.002-05:00

You Smell So Good

I'm just sitting around remembering him... when I remember that I have one of his t-shirts upstairs. And that his t-shirt is absolutely dripping with his smell. I went so, so long without giving in and breathing in his scent. But then I couldn't take it anymore, and I had to. I buried my face in the fabric of his shirt. It smells so goddamn good.

Which brought me back to the last night that I actually had hope for the two of us. When I thought I could be patient. The night that I went to his house for no good reason and found him in his room, smoking with April. (I think they were smoking pot. It didn't smell like cigarette smoke.) I made him come out and talk to me. He was rather sullen, and when he did actually look at me, he glared at me. And then I remembered the few seconds that I sat close to him, begging him, pleading with him, asking him over and over to give me the one last chance, telling him he owed it to me after all that we had been through, and I could smell him. I could smell the rich scent of his deoderant, the smell of the smoke, and the soft almost invisible smell that always lingers on his skin. I kissed his forehead. I kissed his hair. It smelled faintly of smoke. (It smelled good.)

And then, the other day in class, I swear, I could smell him sitting in front of me. I could smell the faint odor of the smoke, and I wanted to bathe myself in it. It smelled so, so, so good.

Which brings me to the whole thing about him smoking pot...
...It was never that I didn't approve of him smoking pot. It was more that I'm jealous because he can do something like that. I can't. I'll never be able to. I'm far too afraid of my parents and the police and the rumors. (But somewhere inside of me, I was always hoping that he'd get me drunk and that he'd ask me to come to his parties and that he'd want to do stupid things with me, but he never did.)

He always thought I was like this perfect little fucking princess, and I wish I had been able to show him that I'm not. Well, that I don't want to be the prissy princess anymore. I want to have fun, I want to do things that I've never done. I actually do want to drink, and suddenly I actually really do want to try pot, if only just once.

But mostly I just want Mitch back in my life... & I don't care what lengths I'd have to go to.

debating

2010-04-14T21:57:00.003-05:00

debating

I personally love this piece. It's choppy, it doesn't flow, but it's so full of the fear and everything else I was feeling for that entire month (that I still feel now... but I've gotten better at hiding it). It's so full of every emotion that I was afraid to admit to feeling. It's kind of written to him (Mitchell, I mean), but at the same time it's one that isn't personal at all. It's one that I want everyone that has been in my place to be able to feel and relate to.

Epitaph

2010-03-30T18:30:00.002-05:00

Epitaph

Our love did once live & breathe, or so I thought. I was so happy with him, but in the end, he didn't want me. (I wasn't good enough.)

I'm still trying to convince myself that I don't need him and that I can live without him and that I can keep breathing without him. ...But I don't believe it.

You know what the really horrible thing is?

"I love you. I never even believed in love before." <-- Lie. He never loved me.

I DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE ANYMORE.

iPod Collection updates

2010-03-10T18:19:00.003-06:00

iPod Collection updates

I just whipped out my iPod when I got home from his house at like, I don't know, 10:30 in the morning on Saturday. I started writing, feeling my heart pulsing, remembering the way my chest constricted when he wouldn't even look at me, and barely inaudibly he said "I think we should spend some time apart." And in that instant, suddenly, all I could hear was Ocean Avenue and Only One and Vermillion and every other fucking love song I've ever cried to in my life, and I wanted him to hold me, to hug me, to kiss me, to keep me...

...but he insisted we should spend some time apart.

And for some reason, I just can't stay away from. Even after finding out that he was cheating on me, lying to me about it the entire time, getting caught up in all of his lies, and yet, for some stupid reason, I still believe that he can change, that he will change (for me). I love him.

I keep trying to talk to him and I keep telling him that I want him to talk to me, but he never has anything to say. Sometimes, when he looks at me, I want to believe that he did love me (that he does love me), but I know I shouldn't.

I know I should just let this go and that I'm just setting myself up to get hurt, but I don't know what else to do. I love him. I know that he lied to me and that he cheated on me and that he used me, but for some reason I find that almost forgiveable. Maybe it's because never in a million years did I ever imagine something like this could possibly happen to me. Maybe it's because he promised me so many times that he'd never do it to me (lies. He's a compulsive liar).

I knew for six weeks. I've known since 31 January that he was doing something he shouldn't be doing, but I thought I was being paranoid and overly protective, when I should have just gone with my fear and confronted him. Maybe if I had asked him about it before it was completely obvious, he would have had second thoughts about it and just stopped it. She tried to break it off, but he wouldn't let her. That's the worst part. He had me, but I wasn't enough. I wasn't good enough, I was never enough for him. When I asked him if it was worth it... he didn't really answer me. He told me I'm more than good enough, but I don't know if I can believe him. I want to give him another chance. I wish he'd just ask for another chance.

He never will.

Behind My Smile

2010-02-08T22:56:00.003-06:00

Behind My Smile
My braces came off today. My orthodontic procedure is gonig to be more complicated than most of my friends' because I'm going to get an implant to replace a tooth that I've been missing since birth because of a genetic defect that caused me (and my brother John) to never grow that particular adult tooth. So my braces coming off was a pretty big deal.

My retainer was laying on my tray at lunch today when someone made the comment that it was quite small--that my mouth must be tiny! Devon looked over at me and said "holy shit, why didn't you tell me?" I just replied, "I didn't think anyone would care."

But the truth is more complicated. No, I didn't think anyone would care, but also... I wanted him to care. I wanted him to be excited for me. But I didn't tell him because I didn't think I could deal with him actually caring about me again when since October I've wanted anything but him to outwardly show emoition towards me because, even though no one really knows this, I think I'm still in love with him.

He was my best friend when we broke up, and I lost that.

And now he's going out with Cassie.

The only person that I ever loved, that ever loved me, that ever cared about me, that ever meant anything to me. My very best friend in all of the world and the person I'll never stop loving and never, ever, in a million fucking years, stop caring about.

And neither of them care about me.

she calls him neo

2010-02-03T21:59:00.002-06:00

she calls him neo

I have this issue where I get completely attached to people. Even the people I don't even know. I don't know the first thing about her. I know that she writes poetry that I like to read and that I feel some strange and unfounded attachment to, although I don't really relate to it in any other way than I want to write poetry like hers--but I digress.

Back to the attachment issue:
I get attached to people in the most serious and disturbing way. I got attached to her, and I was totally slammed when I went to her profile and saw "done with fp."

update

2010-01-13T16:56:00.002-06:00

Currently living on: Deepfield. Not a popular band yet but I get the feeling that someday they're going to kick major ass. Beautiful lyrics, simple guitar, strong percussion. Great vocalist.

Currently trying to avoid: Pregnancy. 'Nuff said.

Currently studying: Literally everything. Semester finals are one week away. So, I have one week of study hall with Mitch left... then an entire semester without him. Pre-calculus individual test tomorrow... is going to suck. I think I'm going to seriously fail it. I'm so confident about it, but at the same time I know that means that I'm going to fuck something up. This always happens.

Currently writing: Nothing. No time. I keep updating the iPod Collection but there seems to be little to no interest in that one. So... if you're reading it, review it. Ignore the "meaning" behind those pieces--there is none. Most of them are just me playing with words.

another update.

2010-01-07T18:05:00.002-06:00

I think I'm dying here, waiting for something to change. The plans that I made weeks ago just fell through--now I have nothing to do tomorrow. I don't get to see my best friend. I don't get to sleep between Mitch and Cassi. And it feels like everything just kind of fell in. I don't feel motivated enough to feed myself.

Oh, and Mitch isn't talking to me right now. No reason for that though... Of course not.

We never talk. Why don't we ever talk?

Update

2010-01-01T23:38:00.002-06:00

I've been writing a lot lately but not posting much to the blog.

There are now sixty members on FictionPress that have me listed as a favorite author. There are twenty-nine members receiving author alerts when I post. I don't know if anyone actually reads this blog (does anyone actually read this blog?) and I find it rather annoying that I can't enable comments for this particular skin. Stupid thing.

I don't want it to be 2010.

The iPod Collection

2010-01-01T23:35:00.002-06:00

The iPod Collection

There's a notes app on my iPod touch that I use sometimes when I feel inspired. Whatever I write there, I post to this collection. The pieces really have nothing to do with each other, other than that I wrote them all on my iPod and I thought I should just shove 'em all into a collection.

I capitalize more in this collection because my iPod automatically does that and it takes a lot of effort to undo that all the time so I just basically said fuck it and left them all capitalized.

I hate capitalizing in poetry--it's unneeded.

2009-12-05T00:50:00.003-06:00

Pedal

[OneWord dot Com Collection]

I cannot describe to you how much it annoys me when people come up to me and say "No offense..." (which, I have come to realize, people only say when they know they are about to offend...) and then proceed to offend me by telling me exactly how many ways Devon is so much better than Mitch.

Excuse me? Were you in a relationship with Devon for two years? Do you really know who's better here? Honestly? Were you?

No. You weren't. So don't tell me who's better for me, or who's better at all.

(Because honestly, Mitch is better--for me, and in general. Honestly. He just is. I've known this since before Mitch and I even spoke to each other. I know it's a bitchy thing to say, but sometimes I just know people before I even get to know them. The kid has substance.)

So I guess you could say that this particular piece is kind of a dark humor, or a satire perhaps--well, partially. The bit of it telling him he's no good, and that he's a complete fuck up, that's the satirical bit. The other part about how I love him more and more each day?

Totally true.

2009-12-02T16:00:00.004-06:00

Wishing

I don't think they're reading my posts anymore. I feel like I just lost the only audience that I ever even wanted. I mean, yes, the FP crowd is really great.

But in reality, I never wrote to get the reviews, I wrote to get the reaction out of the one[s] that I love[d].

2009-11-27T00:45:00.005-06:00

DEVON

I just know there's something fucked up between them. There's something way-more-than-friendish about them.

People tell me about how they hold hands in class, and then say they're not "together." Really Devon? You called me a whore when I told people Mitch and I were undefined when he held my hand in school for the first time. Who's the whore now?

Oh.

Still me.

But I digress.

I know there's something between them. Maybe it's the way they fucking stare at each other all the time, share their food across the table at lunch, and call each other stupid little pet names (that oh-by-the-way came from me first... Dev & Pockets... my two very bestest... the two people I would do anything to get the fuck out of my life). No, "Dev," it's not totally obvious that what you do behind closed doors is sexual, even though you try to deny that every time you bring her up.

I'm not stupid.

I know her. I know what she's like, and I know what you're like, especially when it comes to girls like [me]. Yep, she's like me Devon--and you know what that means? That means she's a whore, too.

That kind of backfired on you, now, didn't it?

Remember when we started dating, "Dev," two years ago, and I told you I felt like a whore for doing some of those things with you? You tried to comfort me, and tell me that there was nothing to worry about, but in the end I still felt like shit about it. I never stopped feeling shitty about our relationship, the sexual aspects of it, and the way that you always seemed to stop caring about me and my feelings when we started getting dirty.

Honestly Devon. I tried to tell you these things. You didn't listen.

What the hell is the point, really? He's not reading this. He's blocked my fictionpress updates, anyway.

Fuck him. Fuck her. Fuck my life.

My relationship with Mitch? Totally awkward. I don't know how I'm going to deal with him when he comes home. I don't know how I'm going to deal with myself when he gets home tomorrow night from hunting up north.

Oh, and she still reads my updates. She never comments, reviews, or even tells me that she reads them, but she does. So you know, all those little subliminal (and not so subtle) messages I've been leaving for her, literally begging her to speak to me, were all a waste. She's been ignoring them all along.

2009-11-27T00:38:00.004-06:00

Distance & Hate in Me

These two kind of go together.

I realized the other day that they kind of belong together. I mean, they're both snotty fucking spoiled brats... Neither of them can care for themselves. For example, if her mom doesn't do her laundry, she doesn't wear clean clothes--oh and she fully expects her mother to do her laundry. He has never even touched the wash machine. In fact, I'm pretty sure I never saw him even enter that room of his house. Anyway...

I want to get over him (as a hugely important part of my life anyway) but I don't think that's possible when I know he's with her.

[[Oh. And I'm the whore? Right.]]

2009-11-27T00:21:00.002-06:00

The Hypocrite & the Whore

I honestly cannot believe that he would go so far as to call me a whore and then turn around and do basically the same thing with her. Her--

my (ex)best friend, the girl that I'm still in love with. Hopelessly. In. Love. With.

Does anyone else understand why I'm upset by this? That there are how many millions of other women in the world and he runs straight to her?

He's listened to me cry over her how many nights in the last two years... yet he doesn't understand at all how much it hurts me to see them together, me completely out of the picture.

Stupid fucking boy.

He Is

2009-11-10T22:46:00.002-06:00

He Is

He is

my everything--

amazing,

strong & funny,

obnoxious &

caring & compelling,

always ready to make me

happy & willing to

get a little sweaty when we

make love.

Undefined

2009-11-04T17:13:00.003-06:00

Undefined
I don't see the need to put a label on my relationship with Mitch.

Sammer

2009-11-04T16:56:00.002-06:00

Sammer

I've had him since I was like... two or three years old... and he's always been my very best friend.

This morning, Mom said she was going to call the vet because Sam was having such a hard time with everything...

I searched him out before I went to school. He wasn't in the house; he was on the porch. Dad had put his food dish out there with him and there was left over hamburger helper in his dish.

& I knew it would be the last time I'd ever touch him, and I wanted to make the most of it, but I had to go. I had to leave for school. I took in his old, kind of dirty smell, and looked into his beautiful brown eyes for the last time. I ran my fingers through his thick hair.

I started to cry.

I cried all the way from my house to Lauren's, where I frantically wiped the tears off of my cheeks. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want her to know I was crying.

At lunch, I mentioned it, but tried to stay off the subject.

& when I got home... I knew he was gone. I let Mom hug me, and I let her tears fall onto my face. I just held onto her, but didn't let her see what was happening to me.

I can't cry over him. I can't let my tears fall. I'm torn apart inside.

I can't believe it yet, I can't believe he's gone.

His pillow is still on the floor in the living room & his food dish still has food in it in the kitchen.

I love my Sammer.

And I miss him so much already.

Where Are You?

2009-11-04T16:51:00.002-06:00

Where Are You?

Creative title right?

I went into study hall (our only class together) and I freaked out because he wasn't there. I instantly thought he didn't make it to school... that something had happened to him...

And then right after I finished writing this, in he walks wearing that cocky grin and acting like he didn't just give me half a fucking heart attack.

esta es la buena vida

2009-11-04T16:49:00.003-06:00

esta es la buena vida
That's the first time I said it to him. =]

2009-10-13T20:54:00.006-05:00

Mitch . Talk To Me . Gehenna . Reminder

Mitch

This boy means so much to me. I can't even begin to explain. He understands me and he listens to me when I need him to. He's cute, he's funny, and he lives close to me. His dimples are adorable. =] I could go on about him for days and days.

Which might actually be the problem. I shouldn't want to talk about him so much, but I do.

I stole his Led Zeppelin t-shirt one night that I was with him. I took it off of him and wore it home. I've been sleeping in it ever since. Today, my mom took it and washed it when I accidentally left it in the bathroom after I took a shower. It doesn't smell like him anymore.

I've spent a lot of time with him in the past two weeks, but now I can't because of the rumors that are flying around. My mom heard that we're having sex and even though I really don't know why she'd believe it, she does. So now I can't even hang out with the kid that I've gotten to know so well in just a few days.

Talk To Me

He says that I can talk to him whenever I want, or whenever I need someone, but sometimes I feel like I'm telling him too much or that he doesn't want to hear it. It's not that he acts like he doesn't care, it's just that sometimes I think he doesn't. But he reminds me on a regular basis that he's always here for me and he loves when I talk to him.

Gehenna

This piece is two-fold:

I know Casi used to like him, and that she probably still does (she doesn't let go of people quickly), and I was starting to feel pretty damn bad about that.

It broke my heart when he told me he loves me because I know there is nothing I can do. I like him as maybe a little more than a friend, but I simply can't like him any more than that. It's nothing about him, it's that I'm in love with Devon (who is furious that Mitch told me he loves me).

Mitch told me he never believed in love before. I don't understand how you can't believe in love. I can see you saying that you don't, but actually truly not believing in love?!? It's completely inconceivable to me. He told me that he loves me, and I'm the only girl he's ever felt this way about.

It's only been two weeks. How does he know he loves me? Honestly. The kid doesn't even believe in love.

Reminder

I was reading through some of Casi's old stuff on FP and when I read the reviews on one, I saw that I had written something cool to her. So I reposted it to remind her how much I love her and how much I need her.

2009-10-13T20:49:00.003-05:00

Break My Heart

I always said that if it came down to a Devon-or-Mitch I'd go for Devon, no questions asked. Well, consider this me asking questions.

And really really not wanting to know the answers.

2009-10-10T01:28:00.002-05:00

The truth of the situation is this:

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life right now. I love Devon. I like Mitch. Devon loves me. I know it's true. Mitch says he loves me. I don't believe it. I don't want him to love me, either.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Did I actually cheat on Devon or am I just making a huge deal out of nothing?

In Love?

2009-09-22T15:48:00.007-05:00

In Love?
When I told him I had to stretch the truth a little
to write my poetry...
I wasn't lying.
However,
I did lie
when I said my poem was for him.

Stupidest Girl & Downward Deathtrap

2009-08-02T18:39:00.004-05:00

Stupidest Girl & Downward Deathtrap

All I wanted to do was go to the beach. I called Keygan, but the line was busy--I attributed this to her dial up connection--so, even though I didn't really want to go with Janelle, I called her. Which led me to finding out that she had Keygan and [the nameless] there with her.

Why didn't they invite me? The consciously left me out. They purposely didn't ask me to go with them! They're supposedly my "best friends" but the more I think about it, the less realistic that seems. They're never there for me, they never support me, and they always leave me behind every fucking chance they get.

I asked Keygan why they didn't ask me to go with them. Her reply? "We weren't doing anything, just sitting around watching Youtube videos. We just wanted to use the internet. We didn't even think about it."

And that's the base of the problem--they don't even think about it. It would never cross their mind that I'm not there because they really could care less.

I am so sick of hosting parties and inviting them and watching them take advantage of me. Fuck them. And then they turn around and treat me like this? It's no wonder I never go anywhere, no one ever "thinks about it" so I never get invited!

Fuck my life.

Almost Easy

2009-07-16T01:47:00.004-05:00

Almost Easy
I feel like the boy had so much potential.

Just Friends

2009-07-14T16:08:00.002-05:00

I just got home from my third 4-H trip. This one went to Washington, D.C. I met a ton of people there, and spent most of my time hanging out with a few guys and girls, mainly the guys. I got to know three of the guys pretty well, but one I got so close to, it's dangerous.

I talked to Kevin for the first time at the National Zoo on Sunday afternoon. He called Kelsey "David" because she was being annoying. I noted that his name was Kevin, that he looked like Dev a lot, and that he had a great sense of humor. We didn't spend a lot of time together again until Wednesday or Thursday, when we ended up sitting next to each other on the bus. We had an odd conversation, and I shared my food with him.

On Thursday night, when my state's delegation went to the Kennedy Center to see Shear Madness, Kenny and I sat next to each other at dinner. He shared his black forest pie with me (it was delicious) and the laughter never seemed to stop. During the play, we sat together again. Tommy sat on the other side of me. Somewhere during the first act of the play--before all the characters had even been introduced--my heart was beating loudly in my chest and Kenny was holding my hand. It felt so amazing.

We couldn't sit together on the bus. I asked him for his chapstick. When he handed it to me, he held onto my hand a second longer than would be necessary. I was so excited because someone liked me, some guy liked me, and I hadn't had something like this in over two years.

The next day, he avoided me. He didn't talk to me. I txted him over and over saying things like "Where are you? Can we meet up?" and "Diga me. Por favor." Finally, during the dance, I stepped out and txted him again, asking him why he was avoiding me. He said we should just be friends.

I really did just want to be friends with him after that. I thought that would be fine. But still, he avoided me for the rest of the trip. He didn't text me back, and he wouldn't talk to me unless he couldn't avoid it. He hugged me when he got off the bus at Milkwaukee. He hugged me three times, but didn't really say much. I couldn't tell if he was looking at me in the eyes, or just in my direction. That was the last time I talked to Kenny. I'll probably never talk to him again.

Update

2009-06-16T13:58:00.001-05:00

It's been a while.

Is there anybody out there?

2009-03-21T16:35:00.000-05:00

I really want to be posting on fictionpress but there is a gliche in the system and it won't let me upload documents. It says I'm not logged in. Silly system, right?

Sorry, there's no way to comment in this blog. I didn't realize this particular layout didn't have comment links when I decided to use it. If you have something specific you want to say, go ahead and e-mail or PM me (through fp).

I have some stuff I really need to post but no way to post since fp is gliching out... Ugh.

2009-03-12T22:01:00.000-05:00

What bothers me a lot:
It bothers me to no end when I post in the Review Game (a wonderful forum for ginving and receiving reviews and a good template for reviews that are helpful and constructive) and instantaneously this certain person that I have come to not like very much at all reviews me and says basically the same four things over and over:

You have good word choice.
I'm not interested in your subject matter.
You use sarcasm well.
Your subject matter is unoriginal.

Okay, asshole, if you don't like what I write, then don't fucking read it (if you have to read it, then don't post a fucking review that I'll hate you for).

Agreement, anyone?

Whipping the Bitch

2009-03-12T16:17:00.000-05:00

Whipping the Bitch
Mmmmm... I'm pissed off is a good way to start. I'm fed up, I'm just sick of her and her shit. I see her every day and she pretends I'm not there. I see her when I fall asleep, I dream about her, and I think about her all day long. I try my best to ignore her--it makes things easier. I try to just pretend I am invisible and she can't see me (even though she doesn't look at me to begin with) because then it all makes sense to me: She doesn't look at me, talk to me, or acknowledge me because I'm not really there. Simple, right?

But... when I came to school to find her leaning against my locker snuggling right up to my boyfriend... Oh, that's too much. She's gone too far (and this is not the first time, I've also caught glimpses of her scooting her chair very close to his during their DTP class fifth hour when I go to the English room). You wouldn't understand much it enrages me. And he doesn't even care, he doesn't move away from her, he stays right where he is and engages her in conversation (like she deserves to have him in her life).

He gets "relationship advice" from her and shares his advice with her. Why is it that he never tells me this? Is he afraid of me knowing? Is it that he doesn't think I should know that he's better friends with her now than I am? Great, my boyfriend is now taking my friends. What a wonderful guy. Oh, but that's all okay because "he hates her." If he hates her so much then why is he always trying to be her buddy? I fucking hate her. I wish she'd just die so then everyone could assume I'm just unhappy because she's dead instead of being unhappy because she isn't.

And the rest of them--the people that shove me around day after day. I pretended I was happy today (well, I was a little bit: my adv. gen. art panel is really coming together and people are telling me that they like it--it makes me a little bit happier inside) but, god, I daydream about slamming her face through a window.

(I'm serious. Don't question my seriousness.)

Italia

2009-03-08T23:00:00.000-05:00

Italia

Devon's going to Italy.
It's like he's leaving me behind.

Say Sorry

2009-03-08T22:38:00.000-05:00

Say Sorry
SHUT UP & APOLOGIZE

---

I had a really shitty day and I felt oppressed, and left behind. You see, my friends aren't always there for me like you'd think friends would be, especially not the person that I would've--two years ago--considered to be my closest friend in the entire world. I feel detached from all that is real most of the time, and that is when I write the best.

So this piece I dragged up from the inside of me. I act pretty poorly when I feel shitty (which is quite often lately), so I kind of wrote this piece to say that yes, I can say things for the way I act and yes, I do feel like an idiot for not being a nice person.

But you know, they could step down from (or probably, more likely, fall off of) their fucking pedastals and admit that they're not the best, either.

Collection: Sixteen

2009-02-26T19:06:00.000-06:00

sixteen
seven letters
to be finished on the seventh day of March

the day she turns sixteen years old

written by me
the words someone else would speak to her
to tell her the truth that I can't

---

sixteen, the playlist:

So Long, Good-Bye (10 Years)
Snuff (Slipknot)
The Reason (Hoobastank)
Leave Out All the Rest (Linkin Park)
Vermillion Pt. 2 [Bloodstone Mix] (Slipknot)
Where'd You Go (Fort Minor)
Epiphany (Staind)
Through Glass (Stone Sour)
Do What You Do (Mudvayne)
The Nameless (Slipknot)
Into the Flood (Deepfield)
I'll Keep Your Memory Vague (Finger Eleven)
Loser (3 Doors Down)
Snow White Queen (Evanescence)
Be Like That (3 Doors Down)
Zzyzx Rd. (Stone Sour)

Thank you for all the reviews and support throughout the process of writing these seven pieces.

Posting Soon

2009-02-25T17:07:00.001-06:00

I will start posting here as soon as I can get the stupid layout to work. Sorry for the delay.

2009-02-24T20:59:00.001-06:00

This blog is designed to follow my posting on FP. If you have questions about my post, I think it is easiest to redirect here and find out what it meant.